Thursday, May 7, 2009

X-Men: What are you waiting 4?

<--Random piece of fanart, pretty much illustrating how we could've avoided our current predicament. I'm shaking things up a little bit today, I'm going to share a piece I recently wrote out for my LiveJournal. Maybe not a film review, but it's on my mind and film-related, so let's do this:
I'm gonna get something that's been bugging me off my chest. I think you've already figured out this is a geek rant. Hold onto something. While at dinner with my girlfriend last night, I basically broke down some of my issues with Wolverine that I'd written about here (she's the g/f, therefore she gets a live show. Jealous?). I liked the movie, but it wasn't entirely true to what the movies have said about Wolverine thus far, plus there were some story elements I'd focus more on, and some that could've been removed. Sound like any OTHER prequels you know? Anyway, carrying on. Last night we watched the original X-Men, since she hadn't seen any of them since we saw X3 in theatres. She fell asleep, per her modus operandi, but she's cute and I love her. So this morning, I woke up all X-ed out still, so I threw in X2. Then I thought about X3 (and watched it again since I wrote this. Hugh Jackman is playing Cyclops trapped in Wolverine's body. And vice versa. For cryin' out loud.). Then I thought about Wolverine, and the article I read this morning about the confirmation of a Wolverine 2. Then I thought about "X-Men: First Class", a supposed upcoming film about the first group of mutants to join with Prof. X (basically most of the cast from the TV show, minus a few characters the movie made younger). And you know what? Fuck. That. Shit. I had a lengthy conversation with one of my geekier friends about this, and he and I are on the same page. Alright. To gain back any sort of credibility for the series, X-Men 4 needs to happen, and it needs to be Superman Returns. Having Bryan Singer return may not be the worst of ideas, either. It needs to take X3, and basically shove an adamantium railspike up it's ass, and throw it out the fuckin' window. Who's not dead? All of them. That's fucking who. Jean Grey is flippin' PHOENIX. Not that bird, maybe, but in essence I think the namesake is reason enough to pull her from the ashes. The fiery apparition seen in the water... we all assumed that this was emanating from Jean. Looking at it today, I say that's the Phoenix as we know her. The astral being took notice of her host in that moment. It could've been messing with her all her life, but couldn't take hold until she died? It's so easy to write away. It took her a little while to bond and wake up, and maybe it threw Jean a little wacky in the process, explaining her actions in X3. Don't even MENTION the split personality thing again, or just say that was the Phoenix calling from on high. Or don't explain it, just accept it. Work it in. It'll work, because people WANT it to work. Cyclops: A golden Spielberg rule: You didn't see 'em die, they're not dead. Make him, sorry Hugh, the freakin' LEADER he's supposed to be. Wolverine was excellently portrayed (until X3, when Cyclops possessed him), but he's got his own freakin' movie (which will get his sequel despite my ranting). He doesn't need to hold up two franchises. There's enough characters to lead the X-series, and Cyclops should be one of them. The actor was great in the role, but for some reason got shafted with X2 and wisely followed Singer onto Superman Returns, prompting his shorter role in X3 and our current predicament (tho I bet they would've done it anyway). Prof. X: We already know he's not dead. I just hope they don't waste a lot of time 'searching for Spock'. Moira McTaggert is a medical genius and Muir Island is a fabulous place, let's just leave it at that. There's three storylines I'd like to see, one of which I think they actually might do, if someone just slapped those silly Fox people upside their heads. The Acolytes. Followers of Magneto who are basically mutant extremists. "Exodus" was the real turning point of this story. If you thought Magneto trying to make Prof. X kill off every single human was pretty awful, you should check out what these guys are up to. They basically started up when Magneto was "killed". Well, he's mostly powerless for now. That's reason enough for crazy folks. The reason we won't get this is, well, technically it's an X-Factor story, but it culminates in a massive crossover between the X-teams and the Avengers. So... prolly not. X-Cutioner's Song. One word: Cable. Basically, this could really help work Jean and Cyclops back into the mix, without even having her present for most of the movie. The fact that Cable shows up from the future, and later turns out the be Cyclops and Jean's son... someone in the present realizes this and "waitaminute... so that means... GASP!" Totally. Wouldn't even have to happen til near the end, if they wanted. There'd be way too much going on to reintroduce people, let alone bring in Stryfe, Sinister and everyone else you'd need to do it semi-proper. Plus, bringing Prof. X back from the dead only to have him gunned down would be a little too crude for PG-13. So, what I think they'll do... and this is the one I actually know the least about (mostly what I saw on the '90s show)... Apocalypse. Take a little time in the beginning, while you're warming up the villain plot (a super-powered lead antagonist that's not Magneto?!? SCORE!), to resurrect everybody. Enter the mystic side of Phoenix, "I didn't kill Scott... I... moved him?" Whatever. In theory, you could bring back everybody she vaporized if this is the case, but let's not go down that road just yet. Wolverine jumped the gun in X3 and says "I think she killed Scott". Jean's too screwed up to really know what's happening, so bah. He's alive. So, Prof. X is in his brain-dead twin's body, or whatever, and hooray, X-Men! Then you can work in Angel --> Archangel. Then an X3 sub-plot would simply be a big ol' establishment of a character, instead of yet another waste of one. Work in the TV storyline's bit about the cure, and since in movie canon, Rogue took it (but it seems like it'll wear off?), you can still work in Apocalypse's plot to use the lure of the cure to find his Horsemen. Enter Ms. Marvel, I think it was, or some no-name equivalent... Rogue accidentally kills her with her regained powers, absorbing Marvel's powers completely... and BAM. Rogue as we know her. My buddy seems to think Anna Paquin plays Rogue too shy to pull off the hot-talking, confident Southern girl we all love, but gaining her strength and flight could definitely work as the beginning of a character arc. Maybe this is where her confidence comes from. She was afraid to touch anyone, but now she has a little more control over herself. Seriously, just a couple of source-respecting writers in a think-tank, and we can end the spin-off nonsense and get back on track to a solid, successful second trilogy. Please?

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